Confession was very reflective, i found answers that i so need, not immedate answers but they are huge stepping RockS / platforms..watever..before i can get to the other side. God gives me the answers i SO need now i am so glad my heart is somewat at rest.

Dinner was more. A Spiritual Director is not just by name and initiative also is important, both the Director and the Walker (pun on Luke, haha). It's amazing how everything that i thought of Paps spoke to me, i know it's not him it's God, thru Paps, affirms all my thoughts.

Paps is one of the coolest Priests i've ever known...i'm thinking of a white-cassock man on rollerblades to rush for an urgent request for (final) Anointing of the Sick...LOL!!!! One of his motto : intergrate in life..or sth like dat lah.

Back to me, the blog title slams me hard , to answer, no, i'm not there yet. Sitting on the fence waiting for an answer pokes my bum so i move. But i wish i'm not easily influenced / swayed, i wish i could make up my mind for once, wat i want. it's not that i've been bumming around, i've been experimenting with wat i can do, whether it's God's Will or not. Yet waiting really kills.

So i rush, too fast, as always..faster than Singapore (now i know my brain develops faster :D) i guess it's not to join in the rat race but, to run alongside of it? i'm 27 with limited learning capabilities. things i learn i add but covered up in dust because in the end, it only half-matters, these things only fill up at-the-moment. But i never stop searching, trying.

But now i come to a standstill, frowning. Where do i go? Is my High Priority Task really my goal? Paps said if i find it too difficult before even learning might as well dun learn! True really. But there's a way to find out without gathering dust on a book--BORROW from library. Which i would. My curiousity for A+ Certification is making me more restless. i wish there's nothing to stop me from borrowing it.

But there is a debt to clear first which i really hope my "creditor" can get it soon. Two ends of the earth in a similar tight financial position, my worry is more on the other side.

On Tuesday night is Prayer Meet...still pray that God help me find myself there.

And anywhere i go..in the country that i'm born in.