"..and in the darkness.."

i am getting tired, each day even more. Even i told my supervisor of my bold plans. Somehow the waiting kills me. Will my prayers be answered the way i hoped to be? Must my hut burn like the story of the island-stranded man to be rescued from a ship which thought the burning hut was a smoke signal? i cannot stand anymore "burnings"! it feels..sorry..must say..worse than Purgatory, totally limbo while i push on in the darkness. No, God Doesn't Abandon me but..wat, dare i ask, is He Doing? i'm His Kid! Can He Bear to see me like this? i am Carrying the Cross of burden in the darkness, it's killing me.

No, i'm Not There Yet. i'm still dragging on. please don't give me the "Lean on Me.." really, sounds cliche.

Know what the problem is? the reason y i'm not going for penitential services is bcos i am still waiting for the Grace to go for a contrite Confession! i'm waiting for the right Confessor..but Paps is busy, *sigh* Spiritual Directors r also busy during Lenten season. i don't want "swap fly", blare out in full speed, Act of Contrition (also full speed), done, i'm cleansed! crap actually. i want to take my time. i will wait.

my Confession may not b with Paps but still i prefer Confessing to SD, it's also a follow-up counselling too :)

i'm beginning to like Frodo : his innocent, his tiredness, trudging on..as if i'm almost him..one diff, no Sam