what?

i had a lot of things in my mind, still preoccupied with these thoughts i stepped into the hall and suddenly the one of the 'maestros' looked at me and said "you need to do something!"

intrusion, i glared in irritation and anger at him but softened after seeing his smiling face and his tone of conviction that something is going to happen to me or he has something for me..wearily i managed a smile "what?"

i told myself no use praying with everyone and smile as if nothing as happened. Everyone got ready with their instruments, the singers excitedly took and tested their mics, talking to one another...i knew what i must do..i'm serious in what i do and..there was a prompting..i need to spend some quiet time in personal prayer before doing God's Work. i knew i've always been restless and not being in Tune in Prayer Meets nowadays.

Like what Daniel did, i tried to hide from the congregation, behind the singers, sat down and spent my quiet time. And when i took the mic i KNEW what i was there for!!!

After the Prayer Meet there was more....we had to learn new songs....only God can Help, i cannot read notes..so while the singers were resting, alone again i followed the 'music director' and listened to him while he talked to his bandmates how the song's played (and praying very hard too! we had to sing the new song next week and i didn't want to disappoint the 'leader'!)

Well done! We learnt the songs!

i'd realised that i'm alone when i do God's Work when i take a step further in what i love. sometimes i dare to push beyond my own fears to move on my own, sometimes my fear overwhelms me. Most of the times i cannot let fear overwhlem me and it's a hard struggle battling my fears while singing in Prayer Meet. Thoughts come into me and i'm always tempted to stop singing and entertain those thoughts for a while (thoughts of enjoying myself in the beautiful blues and greens of the places i've been, not forgetting tasting the strong beer i've ever tasted..MMMM!) , or despressively sink into thoughts ("you are not worthy to sing", "don't sing that way, later they say you're too loud, too sharp"..."man, these people know nothing"), unfocused. No one said doing God's Work is easy.

i guess spending my own personal time in Prayer works, i'll try again next week, have to..i've got a solo part..*gulp* stress ah..